My Secret crUsh stoRy

One day, It’s very unusual..


I have a crush on our neighbor. .It all started when I was in High School, When they transferred in our barangay. The first time I saw him I knew I like him but I ignore my feelings .Were not close anyway.. Years has passed now I'm in College..


It was Summer break,Until I saw him again in closer and that’s the time I admit to myself that I like him. I started to I investigate his real name and his friendster account.

I’m trying to be closed to him that time.Until I add him on my friendster then he accept me, he replied to my comments like we are closed friends, we chat on yahoo messenger and mail. I always waiting for his reply. Everyday I check my account if there’s an offline message or comment from him on my 2 accounts. There’s a time he ask me to go with him and watch a basketball game I want to go with him but I’m shy.I go to basketball court without him. He didn’t notice I looking at him.

We never approached each other that time even we saw each other. But in FS we’re like close friends. Each day of my summer my crush on him grow more..I want to see him, I want to know his number .Until one morning I turn on the computer it’s 6:00am I’d log on my FS account then I found out OH MY GOSH!

he ask my number. .It was a great day for me. .When we txt each other my feelings for him grew. I realized that I like him a lot.. They say he’s courting me but I don’t know. I have no idea about having a relationship, because I’ve never had one.


Summer was ended...


The month of June was came and classes will started again.. A night of June 09 before classes begin we talked with our other neighbor’s. But I want him to greet me a happy birthday but he didn’t. I felt so sad that time until June 10 my birthday I’ve still not got any greetings from him.. = (
Days has passed we lost our communication. He stop txting even on FS and Yahoo.
I missed him that time so much .And I told o myself that I should move on.But when I saw him my feelings back.hmmp


4 months later…


Last week of October OUR COMMUNICATION WAS CAME BACK, But I was shocked when I saw on his FS account he had a gf...My tears fall, my heart ache and it's hard to breath on that time..The girl was beautiful and she got more than what I've got..


NOVEMBER 2, morning I ask GOD for a sign, A sign if it was the right time to tell him? The sign was happened and it's very unusual.Until the Night of Nov 2.. I can't control myself and I said "I've got something to tell you".He replied his willing to listen.And we talked for a second time, I told him stories "but not the things I want to tell him (about my feelings for him) because I'm shy and I have no guts.He told me some stories then his phone rang his gf miss calls at 3 times he ignored it, He's still with me talking.When were enjoying talking, telling me stories, I looked up on the sky looking at the star that night was full of star.I didn't notice he also looking at the stars.We had fun looking at the stars we saw shooting stars.I wished that night won't stop.Oh it was a beautiful night for me..But time was running and it's already 10:00pm he got to go home..He ask me about what I want to say, But I told him that I cant tell him in personal .Then I text to him my reason. I want to let go my feelings.I told him about what I felt for him.He listen to me and he became nice to me.Days had passed our communication stopped again..


I understand him..He really doesn't care about me.My obsession grow stronger..My feelings is like a raced train, a fastest train.And I hate what I feel..But I still wanting him.I'd tried to pull my heart out on him.."Ignoring his presence mode"..


The month when Jesus was born...


December (misa degalyo ) its was Christmas Vacation.I'd had a plan to complete the simbang gabi,even if I started dec18 I continue to my goal. My goal is to complete the 8 mass so that I can make a wish.Evrynight I attend the mass with my cousin.One day I opened my cp I inserted my smart sim.I tried to text him I txted him hello then she replied "waz up,nagccmbang gabi kba?" then I answered yes.After that she ask me to go with him to the church to attend a mass.My feelings start to continue again to love him..We go to the church but we don't even ended the mass because it's too cold we got to go home..I was happy that time it was the first time together with him..I feel so happy when I'm with him. And whenever we talk, there's this sudden rush from inside but didn't gave any attention to it thinking that I'm just only excited to be with him.


After that morning I feLt so happy,verry happy..My Feelings for him is like a stampede.
My everyday was full of happines and contentment.


Days has passed we never saw each other again..
-missing him so much...


It's CHRISTMAS..Dec 23, 2008 we went to a vacation on our relatives.
then, Dec 24 afternoon our communication was back.That night was so beautiful to me and also unforgetable.
hE Ask me 2be her gf even if I know that maybe it was a big misunderstanding..
After that day I always making an effort to greet him a Merry Xmass and a happy new year even if
he didn't text.JAn 1 afternoon we went to the beach.His the only one I'm thinking.
Past 9p.m he texted me, and my heart automaticaly tumbled with joy..Topic here and topic there,
(nageffort din ako para loadan ang mama nya kc close na sari-sari store dun sa amin nung time na un)
I walk so far from our cattage to load her mom..It's ok for me..I really love him..
I'm so excited to go home to see him,but I'm shy AND I don't know what to do..



End Of Chrismas vacation and heLLo nEw year!We went back home..

At the bus he texted me "his excited to see me".

When I was at home he ask me to go on their house to watch movie but, I refuse cause I'm scared and shy to him.
I'm not convince about whats happening that time."kami ba talaga o hindi?dapat ba akong umasa?"
Those questions echoing on my head.THats why I didn't go..I change the plan,
I told to my mom that I invited him to dinner with us.But he refused to go..(sayang nagluto pa naman c mama).


cLASSES BEgIN...I tried to communicate on him but hE didn't replied..


January 18 2009,

A great day with my friends...after those happy moments,4:30 on the afternoon he texted me first I'm so glad finally!
He want a talk that time so I also wanted too.But the weather's not good it's rainning..
Before he replied, "I felt somethings ment to be broke"..The sKy still raining.

He replied, D2 ko nlng sa text sau sabihin kc malakas na ang ulan at kaylangan ko na talaga sabihin"
so I replied, "Ok,kung anO man yang sasabihin mo maiintindihan kita."
he replied again,"alam ko naman maiintindihan mo ko kasi understanding ka".
"bumalik na kasi yong girl na inantay ko ng matagal". (after reading his message I felt something inside me hurting)

I'm glad cause his honest.But, still hurts!!..I love him so much that's why I let him go.I tried and tried to move on..
I told to myself that His happy now and I must be happy for him.


Month of February
Our communication sometimes on and off..Until one day..


His close friend told me that he has a problem..The girl was about to leave him again.
I automatically txt him about his problem, Then his willing to open up to me.
I ask him to go n our house and talk to him, I'm so concerned to him.
At our house he told me his story all about this girl.I listen to him but on my mind, "sana ako nalang sya,Tanga talaga na girl!"
I gave him advices,.But my on my eyes their is a liquid want to drop..


After that talk I didn't saw him again..he didn't text me, even to look at me.
But their is a time his trying to approach me..


Month of March untiL now even if we saw each other I can't look at him on the eye or even greet each other..
And Until now I still love him..I love watching him from a far..

I Still thinking Of Him..

Days had past,I still thinking of him.I don't know how was him now.
I still want him.why?? I'm trying to forget him but why I still here waiting?

I wish I can turn back the time. Last night I looked up in the sky and waiting for a shooting star..

Happy Valentines:Happy kaya??

The great day for the lovers .The day that’s full of love..
Do you celebrate Valentines?..I celebrate Valentines even if I don’t have a lover,I celebrate it at home with my loving family..Sadly for the loveless it’s just “an ordinary day”..I agree!hehe

New me..

Now my friends discover my new attitude,I think they're right I've change but a little.It started when I feel so sad, alone and broken,I feel so alone last few days but,I realize that I have nothing to worry.Now I'm happy.. absolutely happy..
This days I become so numb about what's happening around me,I have new friends,I'VE LET GO someone AND MOVE ON..Someday the persons who hurt and the cause of my dramatic heartache will cry soon..This is life no regret..I'm contented now..!

Why you do this to me?

I'm trying to understand what's really happening.I can't sleep without thinking of you,i hate it but it used to.Not all the time I can stand alone and waiting for you.Now i'm tired,"i'm like a stupid duck following a dog".But I can't say i've finally done,no i'm not,i'm still wanting you even my heart and mind can't understand
what's happening to us..

You know what?I want to talk to you but I think it's not time yet..
you have your own world and I have mine too.All I can do now is let you go and reset my mind to forget you..bye for now.

Just say it please..

It's ashame that I had to be this way..I think we better of this way..
I know i'm not the one you wanted,but we never talked for our concerns.You want to talk to me and explain what's in your mind.I think I know what's you want to tell me,I'm scared to hear it I don't want to cry.I don't know if i'm ready to face you and talk to you,please don't break my heart.I want to stop this stupid thing so just say goodbye..I will understand you.

I'm so sprung...

Don't know what I want..I don't know what he wants...
I hate this feeling..He's still on my mind..Why he came back??
He's hard to forget!..Do I absolutely in love with him?
I don't know if it's true.But now the attraction I feels to him is stronger..
I find myself extremely observed with him. I want to stop myself,Cause I don't want to hurt again..I'm tying to convince myself that he isn't what I wants..

Do I need him?
Does he care about me?Do you?

All I know now is he's not mine..Why I'm so loyal waiting for him,I shouldn't be..