Stars

"My friends" as I called them..Stars never fail to amaze me.

Every time night comes the stars made me feel better.I look in one star and imagines anything I want.When I started to look at the stars I also started to wait for a shooting star.Ever since I always hoping for it.Just like hoping for LOVE to come in to me and never break my heart..

WISH i FOUND MY SHOOTING STAR HERE IN EARTH..

NOW...

I always thinking about him,wanting him,reminiscing about him and dreaming of him.

Now I finally getting better I suddenly realise that I need to forget him. To forget him is really a hard task.But I know deep inside me that it's not worthy that's why I should forget him.I love him a lot,I can do anything for him,I will never let him broken.But he doesn't seem to care.Now I can get over him,let him out of my heart..


I'm tired pleasing and waiting for nothing..

Why?

We talked and I confessed my feelings,He said he understand "nothing will change" ,
he promise.But Days,week, and month past he haven't txted or wrote me at all.I want to cry but no tear wants to fall.Its hard for me,it's like tearing my heart and all the pain was stucked.I don't know what to do..I can't cry..

I want to fix his eye on my direction so that he would see me,and to make a connection.But when I saw him or we saw each other,I pretend that I don't saw him,even though I want to make a smile on him.I want to be close to him.

my friends kept telling me to let him go and move on but i just cant.I don't think they've been in love like Ive been in love And maybe they never felt what i felt cause if they did they would know that its not that easy.I really want to let go but I cant.Even though I know that I'm waisting my time for loving him,He doesn't care about me,I'm worthless for him and He had her gf.But I still want him..

why I want him?
Why I cant say goodbye?
Why he doesn't care?
Why it feels like he abandoned me in pain?
Why I'm so stupid for him?

"My emotion makes me hate myself"

Why he mean so much to me? Even though he doesn't care about me.I miss him so much.I'm dying inside because of wanting him.Depression,Loneliness and Hopelessness tearing my heart and soul.I know he will never be mine..But my love for hi wrapped me up that's why it's hard to let him go out of my life..I FEEL SO STUPID and CRAZY..I can't sleep at night,looking at the star and wishing.I always thinking of him..Feels like no tomorrow to come.."My emotion makes me hate myself".It's my heart fault..I let myself fall.This is really bad..I wish he knew..

Gusto kong umiyak

Heto ako ngayon iniisip ka.Bakit sobrang sakit ang nararamdaman ko?Alam ko naman na wala lang ako para sa iyo pero mahal talaga kita..Ang Lahat ay isang malaking pagkakamali..Hinayaan ko kasi na mahulog ako sayo.Dati crush lng pero naging mahal na kita eh ilang taon na rin kita mahal,laki kong tanga!Wala akong magagawa kun di umiwaS,Pero bakit di ka madaling kalimutan?

Gusto ko na kalimutan ka kasi alam ko parang walang saysay ang lahat eh..Di ko hinangad na suklian mo ang pagmamahal ko pero nasasaktan ako ngayon kasi binabalewala mo lng feelings ko.Matapos kong sabihin ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko sayo eto ka ngayon umiiwas.Akala ko ba walang ilangan?..Sana kausapin mo nalang ako kesa ganito parang tinataboy mo ako..haay.Malas ko nga naman..
Simple lng naman gusto ko eh,maging close tayo kahit di naman masyado..Bulag talaga ako..BULAG KA DIN..

Di mo ba alam na sobrang sakit ang nararamdaman ko ngayon?Alam ko na may mahal kang iba tanggap ko naman iyon eh..Nagpabaya lng ako akala ko kasi tanggap mo sinabi mo ok lng..tapos eto tinataboy mo ako.sabihin mo na kasi ang gusto mong iparating..
GUSTO KONG UMIYAK PERO WALANG LUMALABAS NA LUHA,di ko alam bakit PERO SOBRANG SAKIT NA.Siguro kailangang pagsabihan mo ako na lumayo..

I want to forget you..

loving someone who does'nt love you is like watching a star you know you can never reach..

This following days I reminisced about HIM.I decided to quit to give up my feelings for him..?I think so..hmmm.But, I know it's hard.Do I need to do this?Does he care about it?huh..I think he don't..I hope he's doing ok.

I'm still here for him if he want somebody to talk to..
For now I'm not really ok I'm not doing fine..because its hurting me,I feel like a looser.Siguro nga talaga!..There is nothing I can do now..I want to cry..

I can smile.But behind my smiles I feel so empty..